To say that this post is long overdue is an understatement. My baby girls birthday was on May 29th and she turned the big O.N.E. The year flew by and it really does seem like I blinked and poof, just like that she was one. Baby Chloe was born at 37 weeks and 3 days. She was a mighty 4 lbs and 6 oz and 17 inches long. The doctors had concerns that maybe something was wrong with her because she was so small. They ran a few test and thankfully she was healthy.
She is my cautious child. Our son is more of a jump right in kind of kid but not Chloe. Chloe takes her time to observe and not to mention she has a very strong personality. She is now 15 months going on 13. There is never a dull moment in our home anymore.
Chloe has blessed our lives in so many ways! I am looking forward to seeing her reach milestones and hope that we can raise her to be a strong, independent young lady. But for now, I am savoring every moment that she is still our little baby girl <3.
Birth control is something I have never had much luck with. I have tried the Depo shot and for a very brief time I also used the pill. The issue that I had with them was that the hormones in them were way too much for me; And I had to get off of them for my emotional well being. Fast forward to May of 2017. At the time my son was 3 and my daughter was just born. We had our boy and our girl and we decided that some form of birth control would be best. Another baby was not in the plans for the next couple of years.
I was hesitant on which form of B.C to go with. I knew that the pill was not an option for me (I am very forgetful) and that the shot and implant were also out. When I went in for my 6 week check up after having my daughter the Dr. said great things about the Mirena. She said its an intrauterine device that is good for 5 years. That it is 99% effective and that even though it does have hormones, the hormones stay in the uterus and will not effect my mood. This seemed like the best way for me to go. So I made the appointment for insertion day.
I was told that the insertion process was very quick and that I wouldn’t feel much of anything. When in reality, it feels like labor pains. Contractions. Extremely uncomfortable. It only lasts for about 5 minutes but it is brutal. Then you are sent home with all of these high hopes on how easy and effortless the next 5 years are going to be with your new Mirena. Little did I know that this little device would cause me so much discomfort in just a few weeks.
Chest pain, splitting headaches, acne, fatigue, mood swings. Just a few of the symptoms I started to experience with the IUD. The chest pains were so bad that I went to the emergency room where they ran tests and they all came back normal. I knew it had something to do with the IUD at that point. I had an appointment to get the strings checked to make sure the IUD was still in place. The strings could not be found. So they had to do an ultra sound to find that the IUD had moved but tried to make me feel better by saying that it is still effective.
Knowing that there is a foreign object in my body that is moving around and causing me all of these health concerns, the decision to get it removed was a no brainier. The removal process was quick and painless. I was told that my body would go back to normal in about 30 days from the removal. The headaches stopped, I am getting my energy back, I do not have acne anymore and my mood is also better. Getting it removed was the best choice for me!
This is my personal experience with the IUD, I wish that it had worked out for me but unfortunately that just wasn’t the case. Doing further research I found that there are a lot of women out there who have had it much worse than I did with the IUD. If you are considering this form of B.C for yourself, please do your research and make sure to ask your Dr. the ins and outs of this IUD.
I never knew what true love was until I heard your little cry for the first time.
I never knew what true love was until I held you in my arms.
I never knew that there was such a thing as perfection until I saw your little face.
I never knew how much a 5lb, 9oz ,18 inch little baby would change my world forever.
I never knew how beautiful this bond would be.
I never knew you were my missing puzzle piece.
I never want you to forget just how loved you truly are.
I never want you to be anything but you…because YOU are my favorite guy.
I never would have imagined just how fast time would fly.
I am so honored to be your mommy.
I love you to the moon and back x’s infinity Cruzie!
Happy Birthday <3<3<3<3
In the 4 years that I have been a Mom, I have had conversations with other Moms that have made me feel supported, understood and appreciated. There are Moms out there that will go out of their way to be helpful and to let you know that you are not alone. They give you helpful tips and tricks and they don’t make you feel guilty when you say things like “I just need some alone time. Just for a couple of hours. To decompress.” They get it, parenting can be hard. And to those Moms, the ones that get it, I appreciate you and I see you.
Unfortunately, not all of my interactions with Moms have been pleasant. I have come across some Mothers that have this notion that I am open to criticism simply because I am a Mom just like they are. They try to dress their judgements up with little bows and try to make it sound all pretty so it won’t cut as deep or so that I won’t realize what they are doing (I see it Susan…I see it). They say things like “No offense” and “In my opinion” when referring to how I parent my children. MY children.
Thankfully, It has become easier over the years to let those comments roll of my back because I know that I am doing a great job as Mother. I don’t need anyone’s stamp of approval to know that. The part about all of this that bothers me is women not lifting each other up. It is the judgements on what we should feed our kids. How long we should be breastfeeding. How we discipline our kids. It is the, my children are better than your children because (insert judgmental reason here).
Imagine what a wonderful community we could have as Mothers if the shaming stopped. If we all acknowledged that, yes, we don’t make the same choices as parents but you know what, that’s ok, because we all have the same goal at the end of the day. To raise happy, healthy, strong, independent, loving humans.
Trying to navigate through “Motherland” can have its ups and downs. In essence we tend to mom shame ourselves at times. Always wondering “ Am I doing this right? I couldn’t possibly be.” “I shouldn’t of done/said that. I am a horrible Mom.” “Why can’t I be more like ____? She seems to have it all together” (she doesn’t). Always second guessing our gut instincts and hoping that we are doing “this” right. Don’t let the shaming get you down. Regardless of how much we may second guess ourselves, at the end of the day, You are the one in YOUR shoes. You know your children better than anyone on this planet and if a Debbie downer tries to get in your head with the judgements, remind yourself that YOU are in the driver’s seat. You make the call. You’re the head Momma of your tribe. You got this.
I am thankful for so much more but I wanted to highlight these since they are the first things I thought of this morning.
1. I am thankful for my family. My hubby, my son and my daughter. They are my everything and then some ❤
2. I am thankful for my health. And that I am able to be here for my kids and the hubz.
3. I am thankful for my home and all of the memories that we have and will create.
4 I am thankful for our jobs.
5. I am thankful for Today, Tomorrow and for what is to come ❤
Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🍂
Leave a comment letting me know what you are Thankful for. ❤
All I can say is that today has been one of those days for me. One of those “I’m going to count to 3” (a hundred times) days. One of those “why aren’t you listening to mommy?!” Days. One of those “let me check the moon calender (I’m sure there is a name for that but I can’t think of it atm) cause I know it HAS to be a full moon tonight” days.
Being a mother can be a serious emotional roller coaster! I thought terrible twos were bad. But I have come to find that there isn’t anyone on this planet that is as persistent as a Threenager.
I know that there are rough days (and from what I hear they are only going to get worse) . But to be honest most of the time there are wonderful, warm and fuzzy, loving days (I live for those days).
As far as today goes ….nothing a glass of vino and some netflix can’t fix. 😊
Hope you all had a great weekend ❤
Leave me a comment letting me know what you do when your toddlers are having “a day”. And if you had a day like I did…. I am proud of you for getting through it! You are killing this parent thing 😙
Cruz James and Chloe Jean ❤💙
These two have turned my world all sorts of upside down, right side up and side to side. When I found out I was expecting my daughter I felt what many mothers feel. The “how can I ever love any one as much as I love my first born.” I would look at Cruz and randomly cry (hormones lol) because it felt that maybe he would feel less love after Chloe was born. I would have conversations with my hubby about how we have to make sure to show him alot of attention when she arrives. I was so worried about that. I was worried about how he would adjust to everything.
And before we knew it , Chloe was born. At 37 weeks . She was 4lbs 9 oz 16 inches. A tiny little thing. She was perfect (just like Cruz at his 5lbs 9oz and 18 inches 💙). And my heart doubled with love. I couldn’t picture my life with just one child anymore. I dealt with some baby blues after having her but even through that I was full of love for both of them. They are the fuel behind everything. My reason. My why. ❤
Mommy loves you ❤
(Birth stories coming soon 😙)
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Mom guilt can set in very quickly when you are a working mom. Possibly missing big stepping stones in your kids’ lives or just being too tired when you get home and not always being able to give them 100% of your energy. Even though I know I am doing my part in providing for my kids and my family, it has never gotten easier for me to be a working mom.
I catch myself envying stay at home moms. Wishing I could have that same opportunity to be with my kids every day. Wondering if they are being well taken care of at preschool and daycare. Fearful of the childcare system when I hear about another abused child on the news or on my fb feed. But the reality is, in this day and age, being a working mom is pretty much the new normal.
When my son was born (my first), everyone told me that it would be so hard to go back to work and leave him at daycare at such a young age (12 weeks old). That “they wouldn’t be able to do it.” Some of them told me that they flat out told their husbands “I am staying home with the kids so figure it out.” But unfortunately that just wasn’t in the cards for me. At the time we were living in New Jersey and paying entirely too much for a small 2 bedroom apartment and barely making ends meet. Staying home was 100% a no go for me. (and now with two kids its 10000% a no go)
I have to constantly remind myself that when I am with my kids, that they are loved. That they are blessed with what they need in life and then some. That even though I am not with them all day long we still have a very strong bond. That I cannot let outside opinions (or my own guilt at times) make me feel as though I am doing something wrong. This is my reality. My life. I remind myself of all of the blessings that have come my way. And most importantly that my Kiddos love me. And regardless of any outside opinions…THAT is what matters. ❤